Even now, I cannot understand what made my new boyfriend say to me about ten days after we had stated dating, and I can quote his words because they remain lodged in my mind, “I know this might seem a bit soon to you, Sue, but will you marry me?” He was serious, whereas I stood there, in front of him, shocked beyond belief. What?! Too right, it was too early! “You can’t be serious! We hardly know each other!”, I managed to splutter.
However, he was serious. “No”, said I, “I am sorry, but I won’t marry you. I can’t marry you. I don’t want to marry anyone. I just broke off an engagement in Rhodesia, and I have been in England for only a few months. I want to have some freedom to live my life independently before I settle down”. I thought he would accept this and understand my feelings. We could carry on going out together, if he wished, to see if our relationship flourished to the point where marriage was a consideration. We did go out, but it became harder for me to continue seeing him. He was distressed, sometimes emotionally unstable, threatening to end his life, once even throwing himself into the sea off Hayling Island. Eventually I refused to see him. His pursuit of me didn’t end, then, though. He phoned me frequently, whereupon my house mate would claim I was out. I refused to talk to him. I thought he would eventually get the message. Not so, though. He used to come round… but I refused to see him.
Even when I moved months later to a flat in a different area of Hampshire, he would still call round. My new flat mate would tell him I wasn’t in. By then, I had a new boyfriend with whom I was going out. The last time I saw my ex-boyfriend was when my new boyfriend, who knew I was being harassed by my ex, charged down the stairs from my flat to tell my ex in no uncertain terms to leave me alone. I was very grateful for this intervention.
However, my new boyfriend, too, within no time at all, claimed that he wanted to marry me. What?! Why?! Here we go again, thought I. What’s the matter with these guys? Why can’t we just go out together without getting married? I stalled, explaining that I had no intention of getting married so soon after my arrival in England. We got on well, and we had some good times together, but marriage was not on my horizon. “That’s OK”, said Brian. “I will just stick around until you calm down, no matter how long it takes.”
And stick around he did!
He weathered my ups and downs, which included one break-up which didn’t last long before we were back together again. He waited patiently telling me every now and again that he still wanted to marry me. As for me, I could not understand why three men inside two years wanted to marry me! In my books, I hadn’t done anything special to make them fall in love with me. I wasn’t stunning, though I had, so everyone told me, huge blue eyes which made me stand out in a crowd. I also had all sorts of hang-ups from the life I had led to date.
