Tabitha and Nelson were not bosom buddies. Tabitha’s main aim in life was to eliminate Nelson and rule the roost, queen of all she surveyed. Her modus operandi was to scare him to death. She had figured out that her best hope was to attack him on his blind side. She would hide behind any piece of furniture and wait. When Nelson strolled by she would leap out at him, claws unsheathed, caterwauling with a ferocious look on her face. Nelson did not drop dead. He just strolled over to the cat’s basket, climbed into it with a withering backward look at Tabitha and settled down for a siesta. Maud, disturbed by the racket, came into the room to find Nelson asleep and Tabitha innocently licking her paw. Round one to Nelson.
Maud was as ready for Christmas as she would ever be. She had bought a small chicken at the market stall which specialized in birds that were missing one or more limbs. She giggled to herself at possible reasons for limbs being missing. She thought that maybe they were born that way and spent their lives drunkenly staggering round the hen coup. Those with only one wing would furiously flap the remaining wing in a futile attempt to take off. Perhaps foxes were at fault or some other predator. On the other hand it could be an axe happy butcher. She had hoped she could find one that was missing a wing or two as both she and Stan liked a leg. She was lucky, as her hope was fulfilled. She had also bought Brussels sprouts, parsnips and potatoes that she would roast around the chicken. At the end of Christmas Eve she would go to the baker whose mince pies would surely be on sale. She would make gravy from the chicken’s giblets and her own roast chestnut stuffing. The next step to be accomplished was to go to St. Ignatius’ Church for Evensong. She found Midnight Mass was too late at her age.
She spent a few last minutes watching tired mothers staggering home with last-minute shopping. They were surrounded by over-excited children longing for the night to be over and the joys of Christmas Day to arrive. Mothers would let the children stay up late in the vain hope that they would stay asleep until a reasonable hour. Once the children were finally asleep and the milk and cookies were out for Santa, the mother then had to fill the stockings. Father arrived home from the pub, somewhat the worse for wear and promptly fell asleep in his chair. Mildly murderous thoughts flitted through her mind. If reincarnation was a fact, she was coming back as a man.
Maud decided it was time to get ready for Evensong. She put on her coat and boots and settled her best hat on her head. Then she put on Tabitha’s winter coat and harness and off they went. Tabitha had been harness-trained since she was a baby. The two of them made a strange sight trotting down the pavement, the little old lady and the big old cat. Passersby smiled at the odd couple and wished them a merry Christmas.
