Undoubtedly, I am truly extraordinary and exuberance is my strongest quality. I love all people in all sizes, shapes and ages. When I see humans I react gushingly and jump up on them just as I'd greet fellow dog-family members. When I was little, it was better tolerated but now that I am 6 years old and very big, it is not the welcome most people expect or like. My human family fake-laugh as they try to excuse my excitement. My female human, the bad cop of the family, has tried for years to correct the jumping. At one point, I caved in to all the training and did stop the jumping until a couple of months ago. Some dear sweet man in the park offered me a treat. He held it high indicating that I should jump up to eat it. Jump I did, and treat I got. I am still jumping occasionally -whenever the urge moves me. It feels so very good. The consequences of being put back on a leash that has been shortened to a few inches teaches me little. Of course, to leash me, my female human would have to first get me, so I most often choose to ignore her command and briskly walk away to greet another person in our immediate vicinity.
I get really excited when I see the grandkids, even the smallest of the rug rats. The preschool grandson doesn’t share the same level of thrill at seeing me. Apparently, it is my size and yes, my hugging often knocks him. His older sister thinks I am adorable and the baby loves me. The eldest granddaughter, from another family, is a teenager and thinks I am a pest, but then she thinks just about everything is pesty.
Another granddaughter who comes to stay sometimes loves me and taught me to swim. She shoved/dragged me into the ocean but I forgave her.
In the past, I have been able to lull my humans into thinking I have finally learned a lesson, but then I surprise them. It is such fun to witness them trying to explain to other humans that I did know better and they were at a loss as to the sudden relapse. They look so embarrassed. I laugh to myself and wish I could say in human talk ’gottcha again’. My female human told several people that I must have a deficit----well we know who has the deficits, don’t we?!
It’s almost dinnertime now, so I must stop dictating so I can go to eat my kibble. I much prefer a beef steak or even chicken breast, organic of course, but do not think that is likely until I decide to change my attitude. NEVER.
Oh, before I go, I have a question…. If a female dog is a bitch, what is a female human??
