Fish Tales from Tucker Lake

“You should have seen it, Jared. It was this big.” Sidney spread his hands apart as wide as a computer screen.
Jared was impressed. “Wow. That’s pretty big for a perch. Where did you catch it?”
“I was fishing off the dock at Tucker Lake. Dad said we can go again next weekend.”
“Do you think your Dad would mind if I came too?”
“You can ask him yourself. My Mom and Dad are playing cards at your house tomorrow night.”
“Cool. Are you coming over, too? I’ll whip your butt at Raging Warriors.”
“You’re on, sucker.” Sidney pointed a finger gun at him.
The next night, while the grown-ups played cards, the boys played video games up in Jared’s room. Steve and Landon were there too, so they played as teams. After the third game, Jared went downstairs to get some snacks. While he was in the kitchen, he could hear the two dads talking.
“I hear Sidney caught a huge perch out at Tucker’s,” Jared’s dad said.
“He was pretty pleased with himself. I wouldn’t call it huge, though. It was about seven inches, maybe eight.”
Jared wondered why adults still talked about inches and pounds and miles. That was the old-fashioned way to measure stuff. He took some pop and nacho chips up to his room. While his friends opened the bags, Jared took the calculator off his desk. Let’s see. There are 2.5 centimetres to an inch, times that by seven inches, and that comes to …. Hey. Wait a minute.
“Oh, Sid-ney,” Jared called in a sing-song voice.
“Oh, wha-at?” Sidney sang back.
“How big did you say that perch was?”
“Like this. Sidney spread his hands apart again.”
“Hold that pose so I can get a measurement.” When Jared turned to get his ruler, Sidney moved his hands closer together.
Landon saw him do it and asked, “Are you playing an air-accordian Sidney, or did you change your mind about the size of the perch? Was it really just a minnow?”
“It was not a minnow,” Sidney said.
“You’re busted, Sidney. I heard your dad tell my dad how big, I mean how small, that fish was,” Jared said. “I knew it couldn’t be this big,” he said as he spread his hands apart like Sidney had at first.
“Maybe it was this big,” said Steve, stretching his arms out as far as he could.
“Or this big,” said Landon. He used his thumb and forefinger to make a teeny space.
Jared puffed out his chest and said in a deep, drawly voice, “That fish was so big its picture weighed six kilograms.” Sidney’s friends teased him all evening. He could hardly wait for his parents to say it was time to go home.