Eighty-nine years and six months have passed thus far in my life, and here I am still alive and kicking, even if somewhat lame. Reaching old age is not for the faint of heart. It sucks. But to listen to the idle chatter, no one wants to end up living in an Old Age Home, or to express it kindly, a Retirement Residence. For a time, I was one of the loudest critics of this lifestyle, but since becoming a resident of one in 2023, I am slowly changing my mind.
The black marks against retirement residences are all too familiar. It means giving up one’s independence and admitting that we can no longer look after ourselves. It means giving up a lifestyle that we spent a lifetime building. It means adopting a lifestyle surrounded solely by old people. It means saying goodbye to our familiar communities where we spent many happy years of our lives, and having to bid farewell to old friends, neighbours, local stores, services, and familiar hang-outs. It means downsizing and starting over in an alien world surrounded by nothing but old people, all complete strangers.
But old people still in their own homes can see the writing on the wall. As they reach their 80s, and become less able to cope on their own, they begin to realize that a retirement community may be the best alternative. And as it is no longer customary in Canada for the elderly to move in with their children, they are forced to search elsewhere. Retirement residences begin to look attractive, but supply may soon not keep up with the demand, as the 80-plus population is expected to grow by 40 per cent by 2030. Time to move. But where should they go?
Canada Census reports that as of 2021, 130,000-150,000 Canadians, average age, 85, were living in retirement residences. They have bitten the bullet and opted for a community of old people. Like them, more elders contemplating their future may have valid reasons for making such a different lifestyle change.
Loneliness and growing isolation, as one ages, often top the list. Becoming somewhat disabled physically, and perhaps mentally, worries families of old people who live alone. Boredom is also not far down the list. Whatever the reason, old people, usually around mid-80s, start looking for an alternative living solution. For many, it is a blessing in disguise, because their decision to push doubts aside and opt for a retirement residence often turns out positively.
Retirement residences are not all created equal, but their seductive ads picture them as the new Gardens of Eden, next door to Heaven. Some advertise 5-star-hotel-type-living that caters to every whim, turning you into a permanent, but helpless guest with nothing to do except sit idly by as staff fawns over you, in a make-believe world of happiness, ease, loving care, and instant friendships. Depending on one’s perspective and financial resources, some, or all, of this type of lifestyle is possible.
But one can soon tire of a 5-star hotel as a permanent home. Who wants to spend his life sitting around playing tiddlywinks? Although scarce, it is possible to find a retirement residence that comes close to duplicating one’s former lifestyle, while catering to mental and physical decline as we age. One such Retirement Residence is Christie Gardens, a 400-resident, non-profit complex on Christie Street in the Davenport neighbourhood of Toronto, where I now live.
