The Totally Amazing Theodore

First, it was his best card trick. He went over and gave Becky’s Dad the nine of hearts from the deck in his hand. Then Theodore blindfolded himself and asked Becky’s Dad to slide it into the pack that he’d now placed on the head table. While Becky’s old man was putting the card into the deck, Theodore turned his back to the action and made a big drama of not being able to see what was going on behind him. I’ve got to say, he sure had a slick way with the words.

Now if I’d been Teddie, there would have been one guy that I’d never have asked to be part of any trick. And that was Becky’s old man. I mean, The Totally Awesome Theodore seemed oblivious to the old guy’s scowling face when he was handed the nine of hearts against his will.

After Becky’s old man tucked the card back into the deck, she shouted out, “He’s done, Theodore.”

Theodore removed the blindfold, picked up the deck and moved slowly back to the centre of the dance floor. He held the deck above his head while asking for a show of hands from the guests who believed he'd pull the nine of hearts straight out of the deck. A few hands half-raised, but I have to say there didn’t appear to be a lot of enthusiasm for it. I think everyone was still struggling with the basic idea of magic tricks being done at a wedding reception.

Theodore threw the deck into the air. As the cards tumbled and fluttered around him toward the dance floor, he grabbed one out of the air. He waited until all the cards were scattered beside him. Holding the caught card face down, he walked over to the only person who seemed to be smiling encouragement, gave her the card and asked Becky to identify in a loud voice, the card she now had in her hand.

“Ten of spades” she yelled out, waving the card wildly, showing everyone that The Totally Awesome Theodore had got it wrong. There were ripples of embarrassed but secretly delighted laughter across the room. Theodore looked like he’d just been punched in the gut. Clearly, this was not what he expected. It was one of his best tricks. It had never failed him before.

But this time, it had. Seemingly thrown off the rhythm of his routine, Theodore tried the trick twice more, each time using Becky’s angry old man to insert the nine of hearts back into the deck.

Each time the trick failed. Everyone’s began to wonder if this guy was for real. Or maybe the repeated fails and Theodore’s obvious distress was some sort of hokey theatre. But if that was it, for what real purpose? No one could figure it out.

By now, Becky’s old man looked like he was secretly wondering that, if he put The Totally Awesome Theodore out of his misery with a quick, deep stab to the chest with a sharp knife or long pronged fork, would this action be considered justifiable homicide?

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Don Herald writes short fiction often featuring quirky characters whose decisions get them and others into difficult situations. He also writes short pieces about experiences in his life as a retiree in Peterborough that highlight the uniqueness of the human condition. Don’s stories have been published online in Canada, the US and the UK.
One Response
  1. author

    Bob Boulton1 year ago

    What an entertaining story as well as a credible and engaging fictional narrator’s voice – “have got”, “dude”, “pissed” and so forth.


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